When the barometric pressure dropped last week, that signaled the entrance, several weeks early, of baby girl Taylor. Weighing just over 3 pounds, she worried her two birth parents. But fortunately she came into the world “yelling bloody murder” according to birth father Rick who was present at the birth of his daughter. Her lungs were apparently fully developed and she made full use of them to make her presence known. Baby Taylor will have to stay in the hospital until she grows a little.
Already, the parents of a baby in diapers, adding one more to their family simply was not in the plan. They struggled with the decision, but ultimately decided it was the best alternative. Rick is unable to work and cares for their son at home. Birth mother Sandy is the major breadwinner in the family. Since Taylor was born much earlier than planned, her birth parents had not had time enough to identify an adoptive family. They wanted a family identified fast. As Sandy was to leave the hospital the day after giving birth, neither she nor Rick wanted to leave the baby until they had chosen the new parents. They could not bear the thought of leaving their baby daughter in the hospital until they had selected parents to love her and talk to her every day while she remained in the hospital for an extended stay.
Enter Neil and Carla. Married seven years, Neil had chemotherapy after a bout with cancer which left him unable to conceive. All their brothers and sisters in their large extended families had started their families. Nieces and nephews abound. Neil and Carla have been waiting for their dreamed about child to arrive.
The day after Taylor was born, the adoption attorney brought the two couples together, birth mother and birth father, adoptive mother and adoptive father. They met in the hospital and got to know each other. Since the adoption attorney knew both couples, she was able to help them get to know each other and get all of their questions about each other answered very quickly. In no time, they all felt very comfortable with each other. Birth mother Sandy proudly introduced first Neil, then Carla to their new baby girl, sleeping in her isolette. Holding her was not possible just yet. Tears of joy flowed as they cradled her with their eyes.
The birth parents feel that finding Neil and Carla was a godsend. They believe that it was meant to be. Rick and Sandy, sad beyond measure to not be able to parent their daughter, nevertheless know that she will be loved and cared for in the warm embrace of Neil’s and Carla’s large extended families.
Neil and Carla take up their posts beside Taylor’s isolette in the hospital to watch her tiny feet, hands and button nose grow. They cannot wait until they can hold her and feed her.
The birth parents and the adoptive parents plan to meet again and will keep in touch with updates.
This blog is a wealth of information and wonderful insights on the adoption process. I particularly like the photographs that you have chosen, they add relatability to your words. I hope you will continue to share your unique viewpoint with readers. Thank you for your sensitivity and clarity.
The story you have just read is true. I know because we are the birth parents of Taylor. We were at a loss when we found out we were pregnant again after just having a beautiful baby boy nine months earlier. Being very pro-life abortion was totally out of the question. In our minds adoption was and is the only option. After many days of discussion we were sure that we must proceed with this option. We checked online for ways to find a family to love and care for a newborn baby. After extensive research we found an attorney by the name of Linda Barnby. We explained to her and her associate Debbie what we were facing and what we were looking for in the way of adoptive parents for the newest member of our family. Linda went to work immediately and during this time baby Taylor was born very early. My wife felt very strongly about not leaving the baby alone in the hospital with no one to love or touch or talk to during her stay there. We did not have to worry about this issue at all. Linda and her staff went to work immediately and found perfect parents for Taylor. As the story states we first met the adoptive parents at the hospital the morning after the birth of Taylor. As we talked I noticed that they held hands the whole time we talked and each time the baby was mentioned the adoptive mother squeezed her husband’s hand. And not only did the adoptive mother and father show up but so did many members of their family; all very excited and supportive of each other. When we first spoke of and considered adoption, a loving family was the first thing that we were looking for in adoptive parents. If we looked for months on our own we could not have found a more suitable, loving and compassionate couple. Baby Taylor will never want for love or attention from this large and loving family. She has them all, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. She has them all there for her. Every thing associated with this choice (adoption) has worked perfectly. God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. We are just thankful to Him for all His blessings on us and that in a very small way that He has allowed us to share our blessings with someone else. A child is a gift from God and should be cherished as such and Taylor will go through her entire life being just that…We cannot say enough about Linda and her entire staff for being so considerate, helpful, understanding, caring and professional. Although she did not represent us, the birth parents, she and her staff could not have been any nicer. Words alone cannot express our gratitude and love for her and her staff. A special thank you goes to her associate Debbie for being so understanding and considerate at our first meeting and explaining what is involved in placing a child for adoption. God knows that this was by no means an easy decision to make but we believe it was His Will and He alone saw that everything was put in place and that all would be well. We pray for Taylor and we pray for Neil and Carla and their family. With God’s guidance and love we will all rest assured that this was indeed the right decision. We as birth parents would only ask that anyone reading this would pray and consider adoption above all other choices. Adoption is truly the only option….I will not lie adoption is still a heart breaking option but there again consider the alternative…ADOPTION IS THE ONLY OPTION…
Rick and Suzanne,
I wish everyone who reads this could meet you and know the magnitude of your grace. Adoption is never an easy decision. You welcomed Neil and Carla and their excited relatives into your hospital room and in to meet Baby Taylor. It takes a great deal of trust and faith in the adoptive parents to release your child to them. You took the time to meet them and get to know them to satisfy yourselves that they will be wonderful parents to your child.
Thank you for allowing me to share your story with others. Through your comment, you were able to say more than I ever could about the beauty and emotional complexity of an adoption.
It will be lovely to watch baby Taylor as she grows!
Linda Barnby
R.S.,
Your comments have a special meaning for me for a number of unique reasons, not the least of which is your role as my mentor in another setting!