Adoptions typically involve drama. Lots of it. With emotions frequently in code red zone, and very high stakes for everyone involved, drama is inevitable.
Here is an update on Birth Mother Cara’s adoption journey. Brian, her former boyfriend and the birth father of the child she is expecting, originally expressed a great deal of interest in making an adoption plan for their unborn child. He was the one who made the initial call to the adoption attorney. Since he placed a child a for adoption previously, he said, he is aware first hand of the potential beneficial outcomes for all parties.
Sadly, since he and Cara split up, his fortunes have taken a nose dive. He is out of work and will shortly lose his place to stay at a relative’s home. He and Cara still communicate. He sees her feeling upbeat about her new life. He sees her receiving care and concern from a number of new people in her life, including the adoptive parents and the adoption attorney’s staff. He sees her life taking an upward tilt. He now is making noises to indicate that he may not be in favor of the adoption. Why?
Is it just frustration and envy that are making him behave seemingly illogically? Or has he had a genuine change of heart? No one wants a birth parent to make an adoption decision that he will later regret. What future does Brian truly want for his child? Very pregnant Cara and adoptive parents, John and Julia, need to know.
Here in Florida, the law provides a mechanism for giving legal notice to an unmarried birth father about the adoption plan prior to birth which requires him to take specific, statutorily prescribed actions, within a certain time frame, in order to effectuate a continuing right to determine the outcome of the adoption plan. His failure to take those actions will automatically foreclose his rights after the time period expires.
Cara, along with John and Julia, the adoptive parents, will wait on pins and needles until the 30 day statutory time period runs and Brian’s decision is known.
QUESTION FOR YOU! It’s “Walk a Mile in His Shoes Day!” What questions do you think a birth father ponders as he struggles to make a decision about adoption for his child?
I hope he has been informed by the professionals arranging the adoption that he has certain steps to take if he wants to raise the child. If he has, then I see no problem with this becoming an ethical adoption if he fails to take the steps and no relatives step forward to raise the child.
I wonder if he is worried that this has become a pattern for him with not raising the children he creates?
Best wishes to everyone:~))
Dancingfast,
Having already placed a child for adoption, and currently raising another older child, he definitely knows what is involved in the decision to parent or the decision to place for adoption. It is always critical to provide birth parents with all their options so they can make an informed choice.
Your thought about a “pattern” about which he may feel chagrined, seems highly plausible.
Thank you for your comment.